So, I was relating this story to Matt, and he was looking at me like, "I'm sorry, why the hell are you talking to me?" So I'm going to share it here.

I was in this totally awesome organic kids store today. My mom took us down there because she wanted the kids to pick out easter gifts. They, of course, had lots of adorable, overpriced, all organic clothing as well.

We were getting our stuff, and getting ready to check out, and this woman comes in. She goes over to the little boys clothing and goes through it. She comes up to the counter, all attitude, "do you not have any size 1-2yrs in this (don't remember) clothing brand?" The checker is like, "uh, I don't know..." The woman goes, "Well, I looked through ALL the shirts and there are NO 1-2yrs." (my brain goes, "duhhhh?" Do you guys see the problem I did? - for non parents, children's clothing typically goes, 0-3m - months, 3-6m, 6-9m, 9-12m, 12-18m, 18-24m, 2t - toddler - 3t, 4t, 5t, and so on)

So the chasier tells her there is more clothing back here around the corner, right back here. (shows her) And comes back to the counter. As she gets ready to ring us out again, from the back room, "these are all girls clothing. I don't see any boys clothes. I don't know what you're trying to show me here, but there are no boy clothes!" Attitude lady comes back out to the front room. "I mean, are you just out of stock of 1-2yrs? Do you have an order coming or what?" Cashier lady is all, "I don't think so....." clearly this poor woman just works there.

Cashier says they have 18-24m on the other rack. Attitude lady says, "well he's growing out of 24m already and I don't want to buy him something he's just going to grow out of." So now, attitude lady, and cashier lady are both searching every shirt in the store looking for one that reads 1-2 years.

At this point, in hopes of getting checked out some time before the kids TOTALLY melt down, I decide to help. "Well, usually after 24m is 3t." The size you're holding looks like a 2t, what's it say?"

"It says 2-3years."

"Oh, well, let's see." So I went over to the smaller clothing, and pull off an 18-24m, and held it up to the 2-3years. It's EXACTLY the same size (and same clothing brand.) I said, "yea, see? They're the same. You probably want to buy another size up."

She says, "well he's only 18m, I can't buy him a 3 year old shirt!" (Aghast)

uummmm..... ok... well.... hm

She goes on to say she knows this clothing designer makes a 1-2years size because she owns something marked that way. I tell her I've never owned anything by the designer, so I'm sure she's right, but if her son is growing out of the size I'm holding, and it's exactly the same size as the one she's holding, that buying a SMALLER size is probably not going to work. (Yes, I allowed probably) I point over to my son and say, "he's only 3, but he's in a 6T size."

At which point she's all, "thanks for your help, do you work here?" I'm all, "no, just trying to be helpful." (because saying, I'm just trying to get the cashier to check my ass out, seemed impolite.)

So we got checked out (after several tries - the cashier hasn't worked there very long apparently) and the lady continued wandering around the clothing rack presumably making SURE there were no 1-2year shirts there.

The thing is, I'm telling you guys this, and you KNOW this woman is somewhere going, "this crazy lady in the clothing store, that didn't even WORK there, wanted me to buy a 3year old shirt for my 14month old. Can you IMAGINE? I KNOW, what a freak." I really was trying to be helpful. (as well as expedite this getting the hell out of there thing. Demon was just grabbing everything in the store by then)

Cold Coffee and Warm Beer

When looking for a name for my blog I considered a few different things. I suppose I wasn’t feeling very creative. Katywampus is a screen name I use just about everywhere. It comes from Catawapmpus. 

Catawampus:

Main Entry: askew. 

Part of Speech: adjective. 

Definition: crooked. 

Synonyms: askance, askant, aslant, awry, bent, buckled, catawampus , cockeyed, crookedly, curved, knotted, lopsided, oblique, obliquely, off-center, slanted, slanting, to one side, topsy-turvey, turned, twisted, yaw ways, zigzag.

It’s a term I’ve only ever heard used by engineers or construction people. It means literally diagonal to where it is supposed to be. If you take the definition and apply it to someone’s state of mind, or personality though it takes on a whole new meaning. I’m always entertained by it. I always feel slightly off kilter or unbalanced it seems. I think parenthood, particularly, is punctuated by feeling off your game, or out of step. A bit catawampus if you will. Plus, it’s a fun word, and I get to use it in an ironic way, which I always find entertaining. 

It occurred to me though, after finally settling on a title, that I should have named it “Cold Coffee and Warm Beer.” My husband is always telling me that he hasn’t gotten to drink his beer cold, or his coffee warm since we had kids. That’s about two years now. I think probably that is the best descriptive explanation of having children. It’s putting all of your previous joys and wants behind the needs of someone else. Someone tiny, and small, and helpless, and totally worth it, but still, coming in second in your own life. 

 A lot of people have a hard time with the adjustment. I think that’s the primary reason parenthood is so hard for so many people. (That and sleep deprivation) We spend years trying to figure out how to take care of ourselves, how to get our own needs met, and then give it all up for someone else. We spent hours, and days, and years trying to figure out how to take care of this new person. Trying to figure out what they need, why they’re unhappy, how to make then happy, and still have then grow up to be self sufficient and independent. We spend hours, and days, and months learning to translate screams and cries, learning to function on little to no sleep, and little to no food. There are all sorts of things we would love to do... if we only had time. We don’t have time, of course, because we’re putting someone else’s needs in front of our own.  This is the hallmark of parenting though. It is what makes us good parents. It is how it is supposed to be, and why we have such a hard time figuring out how to put ourselves, or our marriage first later I think. It is why we occasionally fall to pieces, and why so many marriages with kids don’t make it. It is why parenthood can bring more joy and satisfaction, but less happiness. It is why it has taken me two hours to type one page. 

We are parents. We don’t ever get to drink the beer cold or the coffee warm. 

This also happens to be the reason I bought a coffee maker that uses those little pods and makes just one cup of coffee at the push of a button, as well as an electric tea kettle. For some strange reason all my recent stove top tea kettles have been destroyed, (melted) and I can’t seem the find the time to measure, avoid spilling, or clean up coffee grounds, not to mention wait for an entire pot of coffee to brew.