Mama Brag Post

I will most likely be posting a lot about my frustrations with my children. As people, I think it is rare that we need an outlet for the good. Everyone wants to hear good. More often we need an outlet for the bad. Most of what is written ends up being bad. Rarely do you call people at 2am with good news. Especially relatively mild good news.  With that in mind, and because I want to, I thought I’d write a mama brag post. (This is me bragging about my wonderful children)

On Monday I took Demon for his two year check up and Bug for her two month check up. The pediatrician was examining Bug, stops takes a step back, and says, “she’s getting ready to roll over,” with no small amount of surprise in her voice. I said, “yea, she’s really strong. She can hold her head up, push her chest off the floor and hold it there, get her knees under her and push up. It’s a little crazy.” The doctor seemed very impressed with my little girl five and a half week early preemie. She’s 22 in. and 12.3 lbs, which puts her in the 50th-75th% for height, weight, also head size, non adjusted. She’s met all her milestones and then some.

For those of you who don’t have kids, or haven’t had a preemie: they do all your checkups based on their birthdate. All of their milestones though are based on their due date. So technically, both my kids get an extra six weeks to meet all of their milestones. Six weeks it a big difference when you’re only seven weeks old. (We had her checkup a little early) 

Demon has met all his millstones, and exceeded them, as always.  He’s 32 lbs and 37in, which puts him above the 95th percentile for height and around the 75th for weight. The doctor was also impressed with how good he is with Bug. He’s never made any show of aggression towards her, which I really have been expecting. It’s more then common for toddlers to be a little aggressive towards new babies. They don’t mean anything by it. They’re too young to understand that other people feel pain, much less that they can cause that pain. They just lash out from frustration. He hasn’t (yet) done anything aggressive towards her. In fact, he’s very gentle and protective of her. He likes to show her off to people, and show them how to interact with her - by petting her head and saying, “nice,” hehe. He will bring me her pacifier and blanket if she cries. If we’re in the other room (doing a bath or diaper or something) and she starts crying he says, “Bug, crying,” or “oh no, Bug.”   He takes Bun (his very favorite stuffed rabbit) and puts him in the baby swing, covers him with a blanket and turns it on. He’ll also tuck Bun in in the Pack N Play if Bug’s not in it. He likes to bring me Bun and have him swaddled. This morning he insisted Bun needed a diaper and a shirt. 

Here both kids woke up and i lost my train of thought, because it’s only 5am, and I only have so much at 5am. Anyway, I’m proud of my wonderful kids! Even if they were born this way, and it has nothing to do with what i do with them. 

Cold Coffee and Warm Beer

When looking for a name for my blog I considered a few different things. I suppose I wasn’t feeling very creative. Katywampus is a screen name I use just about everywhere. It comes from Catawapmpus. 

Catawampus:

Main Entry: askew. 

Part of Speech: adjective. 

Definition: crooked. 

Synonyms: askance, askant, aslant, awry, bent, buckled, catawampus , cockeyed, crookedly, curved, knotted, lopsided, oblique, obliquely, off-center, slanted, slanting, to one side, topsy-turvey, turned, twisted, yaw ways, zigzag.

It’s a term I’ve only ever heard used by engineers or construction people. It means literally diagonal to where it is supposed to be. If you take the definition and apply it to someone’s state of mind, or personality though it takes on a whole new meaning. I’m always entertained by it. I always feel slightly off kilter or unbalanced it seems. I think parenthood, particularly, is punctuated by feeling off your game, or out of step. A bit catawampus if you will. Plus, it’s a fun word, and I get to use it in an ironic way, which I always find entertaining. 

It occurred to me though, after finally settling on a title, that I should have named it “Cold Coffee and Warm Beer.” My husband is always telling me that he hasn’t gotten to drink his beer cold, or his coffee warm since we had kids. That’s about two years now. I think probably that is the best descriptive explanation of having children. It’s putting all of your previous joys and wants behind the needs of someone else. Someone tiny, and small, and helpless, and totally worth it, but still, coming in second in your own life. 

 A lot of people have a hard time with the adjustment. I think that’s the primary reason parenthood is so hard for so many people. (That and sleep deprivation) We spend years trying to figure out how to take care of ourselves, how to get our own needs met, and then give it all up for someone else. We spent hours, and days, and years trying to figure out how to take care of this new person. Trying to figure out what they need, why they’re unhappy, how to make then happy, and still have then grow up to be self sufficient and independent. We spend hours, and days, and months learning to translate screams and cries, learning to function on little to no sleep, and little to no food. There are all sorts of things we would love to do... if we only had time. We don’t have time, of course, because we’re putting someone else’s needs in front of our own.  This is the hallmark of parenting though. It is what makes us good parents. It is how it is supposed to be, and why we have such a hard time figuring out how to put ourselves, or our marriage first later I think. It is why we occasionally fall to pieces, and why so many marriages with kids don’t make it. It is why parenthood can bring more joy and satisfaction, but less happiness. It is why it has taken me two hours to type one page. 

We are parents. We don’t ever get to drink the beer cold or the coffee warm. 

This also happens to be the reason I bought a coffee maker that uses those little pods and makes just one cup of coffee at the push of a button, as well as an electric tea kettle. For some strange reason all my recent stove top tea kettles have been destroyed, (melted) and I can’t seem the find the time to measure, avoid spilling, or clean up coffee grounds, not to mention wait for an entire pot of coffee to brew. 

I am Mommy

I am Mommy. 

I wash hair, cut nails, clean cuts, kiss booboos, brush teeth, do laundry, wash dishes, and make bottles. I change diapers, sheets, outfits, and clothing multiple times a day. I clean pee, poop, puke, blood, snot, crumbs, and miscellaneous sticky stuff. I hold my children up with praise, and down for shots. I am teacher, nurse, chauffeur, art director, dietitian, and coach. I teach lessons and enforce rules. I make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then I clean it off the table, floor, walls, and blinds. I go without sleep, food, and often showers. I don’t get vacation days, sicks days, pay, or (often) acknowledgment. I don’t go to the bathroom alone. I shower with the door, and curtain, open. My life is primary colored, motion activated, and runs on batteries. I care for children, dogs, and fish. I do play dates, play class, music class, art class, and children’s museums.  I teach numbers, colors, letters, and tame tantrums. I pray for health, help, and sanity.  I am the center of someone's universe.  I comfort my children when they are hurt, hold them when they are sick, pick them up when the fall, and let them use me to climb higher. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail, but I always try. 

I am a mom, and I’m sure I’m not alone. 

cartoon from everydaypeoplecartoon.com