What is in a name?

The origin of my children’s nicknames. 

My children have interesting nicknames.  They evolved organically. Which is to say, they kind of came about on their own. I always expect someone to ask me why I call my oldest “Demon,” or tell me I might give him a complex. Yes, I do actually call him that in real life, and yes, when the mood strikes him, he does answer to it. I find this both completely entertaining, and slightly disturbing. Maybe the reason no one has ever asked me is that they’ve met my son.  What did surprise me was that someone asked about my daughter’s nickname.  One of my cousins said, “so her facebook name is ‘Bug’?” *raised eyebrow* It struck me as funny. Not that she was asking, but that no one has about my son’s. In fact, I’ve had multiple people ask about “Bug.” While no one has ever asked about “Demon.”

We’ll start with Demon. 

His is slightly more complicated. There is a series of romance novels called, “Cynister Novels” written by Stephanie Laurens. They aren’t the best written books ever, but they’re pretty good. They’re cute and entertaining. The series follows a bunch of male cousins who have all been given nicknames suck as, “Demon, Devil, Lucifer,” you get the idea. I suppose this is what made it an ok idea in my head. It isn’t why I call him that though. 

My son was an early teether. He started teething at 3 months old. He had all his teeth by 1 year. He started working on 2 year molars at 15 months. He’s a horrible teether. It’s incredibly painful for him and seems to take forever. I decided somewhere around the time that he was 6 months old that there was a very fine line between teething and demonic possession. If you’ve never seen the similarities I envy you. There were many jokes about me waiting for his head to spin around, or calling a priest. (I seriously considered that a few times because it got so bad. I didn’t think the priest would take me seriously though.) 

My son is also known to get into a mood. When he’s tired, or hungry, or doesn’t feel well he’s quite a handful. On these days you can always tell something is wrong because he suddenly insists on getting into everything he knows he’s not supposed to, and usually leaves alone. He doesn’t listen to instructions, and has meltdowns at any provocation. My neighbor, who my son loves to play with daily when the weather permits, is fond of saying, “Ohhh, you can see the devil in him,” on these occasions. She does it in such a sinister way that it’s pretty funny. I think this, more then anything, is what has made the name stick. 

As he’s gotten older he has shown a brilliance marked with much curiosity and mischief.  These days it’s an affectionate nod toward those traits. He can be adorably devilish, more so then other 2 year olds. In fact he has shown a particular talent for getting into trouble. Some day I will write a blog post called, “things my son did quietly in his room, that weren’t napping,” or “things Demon has put in his hair.” (That hair one would be pretty long) 

Just so we’re always clear. I’m not calling my son A demon, or suggesting he is actually demonic, or anywhere close. It is just an affectionate nickname (one of many) that has stuck as he’s entered the “terrible twos.”

Bug’s name is not nearly as interesting. 

When you tightly swaddle a baby, they end up looking like a little inch worm, or glow bug. Especially one who isn’t sure they want to be swaddled.  Bug will inch along you, or the couch, or bed, when she’s been swaddled, but isn’t sure she’s ready for bed. We found ourselves commenting on how she was, “small as a bug” or “snuggly as a little bug.” This, coupled with the fact that her bedding is ladybugs, and so I’ve done her room in a “bug” theme (ladybugs, butterflies, dragonflies) has led to her affectionately being named “Bug.”  I’m sure as she gets bigger she will grow out of it. I hope she never thinks we likened her to a beetle, or something creepy.  I think of her more as my tiny inchworm, soon to be my butterfly (yes, I know caterpillar/butterfly, inchworm/moth, but inchworm to butterfly will fit her better.) I’m also fond of calling her my little bug-a-boo, or snug-a-bug. And again, yes, we actually call her Bug. Some day, if she’s feeling inclined, she may even answer to it. 

RSV

One nasty virus.

I remember someone telling me, when I brought Demon home from the NICU, that RSV could present in older children as “just a runny nose.” I have to tell you, that’s something I simply can’t believe after this week.

Friday morning my 2yr old little Demon woke up with a cough, and it looked like someone had turned a facet on in his nose. By noon it was noticeably worse, and he couldn’t nap because of  coughing. I took him in to the doctor’s Friday afternoon. We ended up taking Bug with us as well, only because I couldn’t find a sitter. It turned out to be good though, she started coughing on the way there. 

They told me to keep an eye on it, because it could be RSV, but they were hoping it was just a cold. 

Friday night I tried to give Demon a nebulizer treatment. He’s had “asthma episodes” before with bad colds. He freaked out so bad he choked the threw up. He coughed so bad Friday night he was up most of the night. He was sick all Saturday. Saturday night I waited for him to go to sleep and then tried a “blow by” treatment. (That’s where you basically point it at their face, from a distance) He woke up 10mins in and flipped. I calmed him down and he went back to sleep. He was waking up every 30mins crying and whimpering, coughing himself awake. I was laying in his room with him, quieting him back to sleep. By 10pm the coughing had gotten so bad I called the exchange for our pediatrician. The on call doctor told me to take both kids into the ER because it sounded like RSV. 

At the ER Saturday night/Sunday morning they swabbed both kids for RSV. Demon’s came back positive, and Bug’s was negative. The doctor told us it usually gets worse for 4-5 days then better for 4-5 days. They said his lungs sounded fine, and Bug had an upper respiratory infection, but was doing really well, and had no RSV, yet. I got to bed at around 8am Sunday morning. 

Monday morning Demon was a mess. He had a fever, he wouldn’t take any medicine, he wouldn’t eat or drink anything, and he was just a little snuggly ball of snot and whining. I tried to hold him down and squirt the tylenol down his throat. He flipped out, choked, and threw it all up.  I called and got him an appointment at the pediatricians at 1pm. By 1pm his fever was at 102.5, he still wouldn’t eat or drink anything, he wouldn’t walk, he wouldn’t let us change his PJs, he hadn’t had a wet diaper since 6am, he had nasty green stuff coming out of his nose, and his eye.  Again we took both kids in so they could check Bug too. Again they ran the RSV test on her, and again it came back negative. (This is a very good thing. It’s harder the younger the kid is. The case of RSV my 25 month old son got could have easily killed my 2 1/2 month daughter. As I type this we’re not completely out of the woods) 

They said Demon had a massive infection in one ear, and pink eye, but his lungs still sounded good. They gave us a prescription for oral antibiotics and sent us home with the warning that if he continued to not drink and got dehydrated we were going to have to go to the ER. 

At 5pm, out of desperation, and under a suggestion from some mom friends I gave him a tylenol suppository to try and bring his fever down.  His fever came down slightly (from 102 to 101) and he drank a couple of ounces, and ate a handful of grapes, which was more then he’d eaten or drank all day. By 9pm his fever was on the rise again, and he was insisting on going to sleep, still refusing liquids and medicine. 

I called the exchange again and they told me I had to take him in to the ER. I cried. So, at 9pm Monday night we called my step-father-in-law to babysit Bug and packed Demon, still in his PJs up to take to the ER.  It took us 2 hours to even get a room. By the time Demon was checked out he had two massive ear infections, pink eye in both eyes, was showing signs of serious dehydration, and his lungs sounded “junky.”  (This was, at most, 12hrs after our last check.) 

They started an IV for fluids and antibiotics. Having to start an IV in a small child is hard. Having to start an IV in a small child who’s dehydrated is very hard. The nurse went in through his wrist and had to dig around for quite awhile to hit the vein. She then popped the end off, and went looking for the piece to use the IV for a blood draw, letting him bleed dark red sluggish blood on the table. I’ve never had a bad reaction to blood, but that did it for me. At this point I failed my child. I couldn’t hold him. I couldn’t comfort him. I had to sit on the floor with my head between my knees while I struggled with everything that I had not to pass out or throw up. He kept crying, “mama, mama!” When they finished my husband picked him up and snuggled him, my husband was in tears. Demon kept begging us to take the IV “off” telling us he was “done.”  They started the IV fluids, and we put in his favorite movie. (Which I had remembered to pack) 

A few hours later they came back in and checked on him.  The difference with just fluid was really amazing. He was like a whole different little boy. Unfortunately this meant he had more energy, and was more upset about being confined to a bed and having an IV in his arm. They sent us down to get X-rays on his lungs. My husband and I both had to hold him down for the X-rays, but at least it was quick, and nothing compared to the IV.  While we waited for the X-ray results they gave him IV antibiotics, and another round of IV fluids.  The X-rays showed what the doctor called, “text book viral pneumonia typical with RSV.”  his oxygen levels were good enough, and he had turned around enough, that they sent us home at 3:30am.  The pink eye, and green junk from his nose, was completely gone. I was up with Demon, and then Bug, until about 8am again. When we left the ER they told us to have Demon rechecked Wednesday.

Monday morning I had started coughing up technicolor junk from my case of RSV. I called the doctor who called in a prescription for me. Tuesday my husband went to urgent care and was diagnosed with bronchitis from his case of RSV. Turns out I’m allergic to the antibiotics the doctor’s office called in. I called them Tuesday and asked for a different one. They called in another one I’m allergic too. Today, Wednesday, I got one I’m not allergic to. Bummer is I now have a nasty case of bronchitis and a nasty sinus infection. 

Tuesday Demon was drinking, and eating again. Not a ton, but some, which was better then Monday. He was also walking around little bits, and talking. Neither of which he had been doing on Monday. 

At Demon’s recheck this morning one of his ears was looking clear, but the other one was still really infected. They gave us the choice of ten days of oral antibiotics, or an antibiotic shot. Now, if you’ve never had the shot done on a child, it’s brutal. It’s a super thick, intramuscular shot. This means super long needle, and really painful. So much so, in fact, that they split it into two syringes, which they inject simultaneously.  Demon had had the shot once before, at 6 months old, for a nasty ear infection when he stated throwing up all his medicine. At the time he was too little to do much more then cry. This year with his flu shot (which is also an IM shot) he was much more objectionable. Telling me it hurt, refusing to walk on his leg after the shot, limping around all day. Not that I blame him, those things hurt. So I knew what I was in for if we opted for the shot. I also knew that, while he had been drinking, and we’d been able to get some tylenol into him by hiding it in his juice, he was still refusing to take any and all medications, and wasn’t drinking the juice very reliably. We decided that 1, painful, horrible shot, was better then 10 days of fighting about swallowing medicine, and another potential trip to the ER.  So I held him down while they stuck him. My poor baby.

They said his lungs still sounded “junky” but not horrible, and the medicine wouldn’t help with any of the RSV symptoms, because it’s viral, so we’d just have to wait it out, which I knew. I don’t mind, as long as he’s not in distress. They also said if he’s still running any sort of fever by Friday to bring him back in for another shot. They looked Bug over again, and she still looks fine. They warned us if she starts wheezing at all to immediately take her in. It’s more severe in younger children, and it was fast moving in Demon. There is no doubt that if Bug gets it she’ll end up in the hospital for a prolong stay, if we’re lucky. 

All the doctors are in agreement, that what we got in our house was a particularly severe case of RSV, for whatever reason. So we got the nasty version of a nasty virus. I have never felt so helpless, or seen my little boy so sick in his entire life. (And he nearly died at 4 weeks old) I’m not sure I’ve ever had a worse cold then this one, and every time I think of “just a runny nose” I can’t help but chuckle a little at that absurd understatement. 

I think two nightmares of parenting are; having your infant contract Beta Strep and having your preemie get a severe case of RSV. We have now weathered both of these storms and, so far, come out on the winning side. I would like to say it’s because we did everything right. I would like to give a list of steps we took that led to the outcome that we’ve had, a map for other parents to follow. I don’t believe it though. I do believe we did everything right, but I don’t believe that is why my son is ok. I think we could have done everything right and he could have not been ok. I believe we have come out where we have due to luck and God’s grace, but not “right” action on our part. 

At the moment my 2 month old is the only one in the house who doesn’t have a severe case of RSV. This isn’t due to anything we have done particularly. Keeping my children separate isn’t an option. It’s a small house, I’m the primary caregiver, and there is only one mommy.  The only thing protecting her, I believe, is the grace of God, and the synagis shot (RSV vaccines) she got upon leaving the NICU 2 months ago. The vaccine is only supposed to be good for 30 days. It could be there is some other reason she isn’t as sick as the rest of us, but probably it was the shot. 

So now we cross our fingers. We hope my son continues to mend, that he doesn’t have to go and get another round of the antibiotic shot. We hope my daughter continues to remain RSV free and there are no other ER visits in our immediate future. We hope mommy and daddy both manage to recover quickly. (Because parents don’t get sick days) And we hope that we have managed not to infect any of our many helpers from this last week. 

I slept on the floor of my son’s room, or in his bed with him, for four nights straight because he would wake up coughing and crying. My husband even took a turn last night. I have watched my daughter closely to make sure she isn’t getting sick. I have gone without sleep, food, and medical attention (as has my husband) because I was too preoccupied with my children’s health, or simply because they were sick and they needed me. Whatever else I may do or say, let their never be any mistake about how much I love my children, and what lengths I will go to for their well being and happiness.